great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
