I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
