My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
