Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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