people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
