i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
