I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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