Me. At least after what I've been through.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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