..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
