You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
