The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
