i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Randomize
