This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
