I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
