We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
