Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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