never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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