I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
