every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
