As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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