Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
