i think i have herpe
just one?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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