Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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