your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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