she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
