and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
