***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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