The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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