Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
