So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
