don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Another day, another engagement, another cat
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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