i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
