The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
