I need help removing her.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Congratulations! We have a period
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
