my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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