therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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