Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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