I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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