i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
