There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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