This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
