we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
