i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
That reminds me...we need to get swords
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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