Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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