you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Randomize
