So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
