my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
