you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
