2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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