Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
