Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
