dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
