Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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