discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
