either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
