yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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