How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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