he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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