ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize