He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
