If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
There's always time for handjobs
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize