They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You smell like stripper and shame
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
